September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time to remind one another that every life has meaning and that hope can be restored.
Today, after a week of relentless heat, the heavens finally opened and poured down blessings over our beautiful Santa Barbara County. I was in my backyard, barefoot, with my head lifted, opening my whole being to welcome the rain.
The sight filled me with joy as I watched the water fall straight from the sky and sink into the hard, thirsty soil, reminding me that even what feels worn and dry can be renewed.
That moment beneath the rain opened my awareness of how easily we forget our own capacity to endure.
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Many of us carry heavy thoughts through the night, maintain practiced smiles that hide the weight inside, and quietly question whether our lives still matter.
To each person I say with gentleness and conviction: you are not alone, your life has meaning, and when your ground feels unsteady, the steadiness of others can hold you until your own footing returns.
I speak as one who has lived and evolved beyond this truth.
When betrayal and loss pressed in, I could hardly breathe. I stepped outside one evening, feet bare against the ground, and felt as though the earth itself was holding me when I had no strength left.
In that season, an image rose from within like a lifeline: three days to grieve — one for myself, one for my ancestors and one for the next generation, and then resurrection.
I also remembered Jacinda Ardern’s words after the 2019 Christchurch mosque attack in New Zealand: “He is a terrorist. He is a criminal. He is an extremist. But he will, when I speak, be nameless.”
Her decision not to give power to hatred brought back to my heart that we can choose dignity, and we can choose steadiness amid chaos.
Steadiness is not about ignoring the storm or pretending the pain is small. Steadiness is standing barefoot on the earth while the sky breaks open, choosing not to run, but to remain.
This vision awakened in me an image of a tree bending without breaking, like the oak in the canyon or bees returning to blossoms and roots gripping the hillside long after the fire has passed and the news has moved on.
Here in Santa Barbara, we have seen this with our own eyes. After the 2017 Thomas Fire, when the smoked hills were blackened and barren, wildflowers pushed through the ash to remind us that beauty can follow devastation.
In the same way, our community has worked to bring renewal. Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness, together with its partners, offers a 24-Hour Crisis Response and Access Line (888.868.1649) and community programs for youth, families and adults.
These resources are living proof that no one has to walk alone; help is close at hand, and hope can be restored.
When life threatens to unravel my calling, I return to the loom I call the T.H.R.E.A.D. System, because each practice adds a strand strong enough to carry real weight.
- T — Think Deeply by slowing your pace long enough to hear the voice beneath the noise. Sometimes that means standing barefoot on the grass, breathing with the rhythm of the waves, or whispering a prayer until clarity rises.
- H — Harvest Wisdom by drawing on what elders, ancestors and past seasons have already taught you. Every scar carries instruction, every story offers a map. A proverb from a grandmother or a line from an old journal can steady you when the ground feels fragile.
- R — Release Patterns by letting go of habits and narratives that no longer give life. As rain washes dust from leaves, allow old ways to fall away. Write them down and release them or speak them aloud and bless their passing so you can create space for new growth to emerge.
- E — Enlist Allies by welcoming others into your circle. Healing is a journey, so let a trusted friend walk beside you, allow a counselor or mentor to share their strength, or simply tell one truth to someone safe. One steady hand can make your knees strong again.
- A — Adopt Change by receiving transformation as the gift it is. Rain reshapes the land and hardship grows the soul. Instead of asking, “Why me?” begin to ask, “Who is this season inviting me to become?”
- D — Design Wholeness by weaving your body, mind and spirit into one fabric. Walk the shoreline, sleep deeply, eat what nourishes and protect your boundaries. Pray, meditate or sing whatever restores connection to what is larger than your fear.
Each of these practices is a thread, and when woven together, they form a fabric that does not tear in the first hard wind.
In my darkest valley, this fabric held me, and I believe the moment can hold you as well.
The months ahead may bring grief, unseen burdens and challenges that test us. Yet we hold the power to decide how we will meet them.
Let us stand steady as a community by checking on neighbors, guiding friends to resources such as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, NAMI, Santa Barbara County Behavioral Wellness and engaging in programs that keep us connected and whole.
Give the T.H.R.E.A.D. System a try and let me know your thoughts. From my experience, when we choose steadiness, we create space for hope to take root, for joy to return like rain after drought, and for renewal to flow through our community like living water.
Together, we can carry one another into brighter days.